on a lighter note

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees-Italian cars won’t start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming.

Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

20 degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets
cold enough.

100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get frustrated when they can’t thaw their kegs.

297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to disappear.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying “chilly, you cald am aw?”

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England at any sport